Funny Sayings

Really very funny sayings are here for you make others laugh. These are some of best funny sayings among funny literature.

• A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t.


• I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.


• Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today.  It is already tomorrow in Australia.


• Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.


• Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.


• I hate women because they always know where things are.

• If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.


• To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.


• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.


• A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.


• A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t.


• All generalizations are bad.


• Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.


• It’s funny how most activists are pacifists.


• When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.


• When women go wrong, men go right after them.


• Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.


• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.


• Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.


• You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is ‘never try’.


• College is a refuge from hasty judgment.


• You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is ‘never try’.


• A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.


• When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.


• A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.


• When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.


• I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.


• Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.


• Two lions broke loose in the zoo and were eating a clown.
  One lion said to the other …
  “Does this taste funny to you?”


• If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button


• The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it


• I never make d same mistake twice. 3 times, mayb 4, but never twice.


• If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.


• Buffet: a French word that means “get up & get it yourself.”


• Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.


• Graduation Speech: I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.


• I don’t have drinking problem, i am just really thirsty.